Stress

so much going on at the moment and I feel like it is just getting on top of me.

I have not had 2 particularly good days.. Today was my worst. I ate 2 mini lamingtons and a chocolate gold coin and some of Eleanor's curly chips. I knew when I ate them that it was wrong but I said fark it I'm eating them.

Did they make me feel better?.. hmmm temporarily
Did they taste good?.. yes but then no.. My mind kept saying these are so not good for your body. I guess that over shadowed the taste
Am I regretting it?.. you bet I am. I've been so good trying to get myself on track and to sabotage it is crazy!!! I know that it is one moment and it ends now. But I hate myself for being weak for that moment.

I blame PMS symptoms cause seriously I have no patience at the moment and so buggered. The time Andrew is away is really starting to take it's toll.

There's a few things going on that we are trying to deal with and I think they are just getting on top of me. With him away there is a bit of stuff left not cleared up and I look forward to his return with excitement but also anxiousness. I want to desperately return to work as I need the adult company and also the financial gain will help us. In saying that I have this guilty feeling that I should be at home with my kids and not craving that time out. It is just a terrible pressure we place on ourselves as mothers. Lucille would benefit socially being at day care I know that as I know what Eleanor went through.

Anyway I am off to get some sleep and the world will be beautiful and bright tomorrow :-)