Woot go me!

Woo hoo!!! So today I was pissed off cause the stupid gym stuffed up my creche booking and then had not spaces for babies group. In the end they had people either not turn up or the space but someone screwed up. I only know this cause Jac was at the gym today and had Bronte in. So annoyed.

Anyway took the girls for a walk instead. Stupid pram had a flat tyre so couldn't take both girls at same time so had to use my pram and then Eleanor either walk or ride. So she chose ride. We couldn't go far of course but it was nice to get out. We had fun and will do that more often.

Worked my arse off on the treadmill! What is the saying you only regret the workouts you don't do. So today I aimed to just go hard with cardio.  Did an hour and burnt 503 calories. Was pleased about that BUT what I loved was I gave a huge go at jogging 1km!! I did it. I jogged it in roughly 15mins at 6.8kmh. I was stoked. There goes my June goal out the window!!!! Wooot!!!!! I worked out so har don that treadmill. I nearly gave up so many times but the above motivational is on my treadmill and I kept repeating it over and over.. Got me there!!!!

June is upon us

Can you believe that the month of May is almost done!!! It feels like it only just started!!!!!!

Crazy times.

I thought I had better start thinking about my June goals. I really want to enter June with goals and plans in place and really get some kgs gone, cms lost and body toning happening.

I have a promise too that I am going to make up and will post this later. I got the idea from a few motivational pics that are doing the rounds at the moment. I didn't want to just copy it and use it. I wanted to choose my own pic and create it myself. make the promise my own.

Ok so here goes. Goals and the plans to achieve those goals

GOALS

• Get below 100 kgs.  - Now I feel this is a vague goal as; am I aiming for 99.9kgs or more?? So I will say I want to get down to 98kgs. (As of yesterday I was sitting at 104.7)
• Be able to run 1km without stopping - Currently I do sprints and try to jog for a time frame both on treadmill and on road. So I'm switching this around a bit and working on distance so I can get stuck into doing some fun runs
• Complete each day with 100% clean eating - it is all good and well to say yes I will eat cleanly but something may slip in  that is not clean.
• Workout 6 days a week with a rest day -   I do this pretty much now but sticking it my June Goals for accountability.
• Minimum 8 hours Sleep a night - of course keeping in mind disturbances from girls etc.
• Drink Water!
• Focus on the positive - there is a lot of negativity out there and it is so easy to get caught up in it and lose yourself.

PLAN

• Get below 100 kgs- Eat cleanly, exercise daily and drink minimum 3lts water daily
• Be able to run 1km without stopping -  Focus on form, utilise a program like C25K to assist with building up the length of running time which in turn will increase distance in running
• Complete each day with 100% clean eating - Plan my meals daily and be prepared. Ensure that all foods that can be pre cooked and cut are done so the Sunday or every so days. Think about each mouthful and keep goals in mind before reaching for crap. Acknowledge that if there is a slip up especially at TTOM, that I try and choose "clean cheats" eg clean chocolate, muffins, protein balls as opposed to something processed and sugary. Ensure I have these available to combat any situation that may arise. (currently I don't make these items as I was throwing away a fair bit)
• Workout 6 days a week with a rest day  - Plan my exercise sessions. Ensure that if I have any issues on gym days that I am still completing something at home. I have my reassessment booked in with the Gym Thursday so will ensure I adhere to the schedule set.
• Minimum 8 hours Sleep a night - Aim to have myself organised before 830 so that I can allow myself 1/2 hour to destress and prepare for bed. Bed no later than 9pm every day. Heck if professionals that have children can do this then so can I. I am lucky that my girls go down reasonably well and sleep pretty well. I need to just get my arse into bed on time. I love reading through the Ashy forum but I guess I just have to do it before 830!
•  Drink Water!  - I have recently brought 2 x 1 litre bottles so I need to utilise them like I was previously. Water is such an integral part to losing weight and without it our bodies just don't function properly. With winter upon us it is even harder to get the water in but I will!
• Focus on the positive - this is a big one. It is so easy to get down when we don't see any changes to our body with the efforts we are putting in. But not only that with life. But I aim to find the good in every day and run with that. I will try to keep any negativity out of my life and brush past any that I may see occuring. I will aim to also be a more positive person in my daily outlook. Change what I can and let that which I can not just roll on by.

So these are my main goals. I will print them out and stick them on the pantry , the fridge and my ensuite door.

June is going to be my month! Stay tuned peeps.. Kick off Friday though will start these as of now :-) No time like the present hey.

Awesome Clean Eating Sites

I don't know if anyone else has found The Gracious Pantry on Facebook but I love it.
Here is a link to the website. An awesome site with amazing recipes!

http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/

Looking forward to trying out a few recipes on there!

Another great site is Tosca Reno! What a gorgeous lady!!!!! More vegetarian but some great ideas.

http://www.eatcleandiet.com/


Another great site too.
http://www.thenakedkitchen.com/

the toughest job

any mums out there struggling with the thoughts of returning to work from maternity leave or struggled with those thoughts?? That is me right now. Well I have to do it. There is no if, but or maybes, for the sake of our financial future I must return.

Do I like this idea??? Um NO. I love being at home with my girls. I love seeing Lucy growing into a gorgeous little cherub. I returned to work at 5 months with Eleanor and then went back on maternity leave at 6months until she was 1 year old. Lucy is 15 months and I have been home since birth.

Do I want to?? YES. ..Ok I know this sounds like a bit of a contradiction to the previous answer doesn't it? Let me explain. I love being home with my girls and I would love to stay home forever and not have to return to work. Unfortunately though the world revolves around money and we need it to survive. I do actually miss working though. I miss making my own money. (Andrew and I don't have the attitude of "this is yours this is mine" when it comes to money but I like to contribute) I like going to work and knowing I am helping our household out financially. I have the best job in the world. I am a mummy. It is the most rewarding job but also the hardest job too. I'm a social person. I love people. I must be around them all the time. It helps to keep me sane. I miss my work colleagues in Townsville.

So I struggle with this decision daily and it stresses me at times but stressing and struggling about money is not doing them any favours. So Newcastle or Townsville that is the question? Do I return to Townsville seeing we are going to be back there next year anyway or do I continue to try and get a job at Newy to tie me over until the end of the year???

I am so pleased to be returning to Townsville next year. ( we should be back at the end of this year but I say next year as that is when Andrew will start work) Now it still is not 100% confirmed as we have not received our posting order but 99.9% certainty. I will miss here though. I love how we have to travel a bit to get see things and there is just so much to see in such a little space. Although it is effing freezing, the weather is glorious on most days and rain is minimal compared to the tropical crap that is Nth Qld. I don't want a steamy humid yuck Summer. I love the dry ones here. I have great friends here (yes I have some there too)

I guess I am just having a moment of sadness that life is changing in a few months. I will be back at work soon. I've become settled in Singleton and now have to relocate and only relocate for a year while Andrew decides whether he will 100% core transfer to become a vehicle mechanic and then get out of the army. But no matter what else I am thinking or that is happening around me, I purely and simply feel guilty that I am looking forward to not being home 24/7! I know I shouldn't and it is just life but you can't help it. Oh well one has to do what one has to do regardless of what people's opinions are. Mind you it is our lives and we are living it not anyone else :-)

We are trying to work out what the best balance will be for us.

Some New Goals and determination to boot!

so I was sitting here tonight watching 60 minutes and there was a segment about a lady who turned 40 and wanted to do something with herself. So she did the Iron man in Melbourne for her 40th. It was the answer to her midlife crisis and what could she do with herself that was meaningful other than having one kick arse party. It didn't hit her when she was 30 that she was getting older it was when she turned or was turning 40 that she realised she was aging. Brought tears to my eyes when she finished. She didn't care where she placed but she just wanted that accomplishment of finishing.

I know how she feels. I guess my journey is slightly different though. I want to get to my goal of losing weight, that is my finish line. And of course staying there, somewhere between 80 and 75kg. I really have a tough road ahead but then I guess it is as tough as you make it. Time to get my game head on and just do it. I know that watching this segment and watching her fulfill her goals has made me determined.

My younger brother Ben used to do triathlons years ago . He was great at it and I loved watching all the competitors. The ones who were the professionals, then the die hard competitors,  and then those who did it as a fitness goal or to achieve completion. I want to do it. I have always said I loved them and wanted to do them. That was in my mid 20s. What better way to top off getting to my goal weight and being physically fit then to do a triathlon. Being back in Townsville next year will be perfect. I will gain my fitness this year, lose my weight and then focus on training.

I am I kidding myself to think that I can get this goal??? No I don't think so. The body achieves what the mind believes right!? I have wasted so many years being unhappy with myself. Just going through the day to day motions of living. I have 2 beautiful girls who are my world and being fit and healthy is of massive benefit to them.

I will focus on my weight loss and building up my fitness and strength and then focus on this. Swimming lessons is a big thing and to get into a swimming cossie again would mean to focus on my weight loss more. So I am now more determined to do that. My focus and fire in the belly has been renewed :-)

So here is some new goals;

• focus on my weight loss and get to goal by end of year 75-80kgs
• build on my ability to run starting with 1km non stop and then work up in distance from there
• look at participating in fun runs and gain experience with "competitive" lifestyle
• work on cycle and swim.
• research triathlons and distance. Find clubs and coaches. Research training plans and just get some general information about this.

I know that I will enjoy this as that sense of accomplishment is what I desire. I have loved watching triathlons and I love all 3 sports. I sent my brother a message to see if he was keen to join me next year at Noosa! I know he has wanted to get back into it. Maybe this will be a bit of a push for him. Or he'll just laugh and think I am an idiot for wanting this. Nah he won't think that. He will just want to express how hard the work will be to get there and to let me know that it won't be easy. I know this as I know how hard he used to train! I'm not kidding myself. I know I won't be able to do this by just losing weight.

I am so stoked and know that if I want to achieve this then I need to be 100% committed!!! Sure I may have some niggling doubts that I can do this but with research, training and that wee little thing called determination I can get there.

So who else has set themselves some goals??

oooh and for me to get into running I need to shift this weight and to get me some new damn shoes!!!!!

Look out fitness world!!!!! Wendi is on her way :-)

Today is the day I have decided that I want to become a triathlete!

Wendi has been AWOL!

wow I have had such a terrible week. This head cold, migraine and other ailments have really messed with my mojo!!!! I had no energy, no desires and above all ate like shit. Was not the Wendi I have become that is for sure. Now I won't say I ate really crap but I did have more bread and other things I've been eliminating from my diet. I had a Coffee Kick Frappe from Maccas after groceries on Thursday and some biscuits.. ooh ok I have had a fair bit of shit.

I am back on track today and with Andrew away bush most of this coming week I have no reason to fail!

I will get under 100kgs!!! I don't care if it is 99.9 but it will be under. I am going to shake it up with some cardio this week too and hold off the weights a bit. I think my cardio took a back seat a fair bit lately and I just need to shake it all back up. I respond well to cardio and I think I've lacked it a fair bit.  Plus I have sacrificed buying a creche card this fortnight so will not get much gym time with Andrew away. I have my reassessment on Thursday and will see what comes of it then. I will just move more at home. I have the treadmill and can push hard and will do my own circuit.

I will have oats and banana made on Almond milk, or slice of Rye with  2eggs. Rotate this. Snacks will be apple and peanut butter and nuts or protein smoothie. Lunch Chicken and Salad. Dinner will be steak and salad/veg, chicken and veg/salad. Going to make it as basic as I can. I will drink lots of water.

I am cycling off Dfine8 this fortnight. A/ because I can't afford a new tub and B/ it is time that I went completely off it and had a complete cycle without. I don't have it daily but it still needs to be off  for the recommended time frame.

Ooh only carb will be my oats or Rye Bread in the morning and the sweet potato in my salad.

This is so very true. I copied this from the cutandjacked.com site. I can eat 100% clean. Anyone can. Not eating 100% clean is a choice we make and of course the results  show for themselves.

So this week I will put in 100% effort and eat 100% clean. I know that it brings results. I'm 11.4 kgs down because of it. But I could be further along in my journey if I remained 100% committed day in and day out. Winter is here and I am surely not going to let it be the undoing of my efforts and use cold weather and hearty comfort food as an excuse!

I have a ball to get ready for! Ok not a ball but a wedding. I really really really want to wear something that I have not worn in such a long time... worn comfortably I might add.... a dress! I want to get to a decent size. Ok maybe not at goal but a comfortable goal where I will feel smashing in my outfit! 15 weeks! So I can be definitely down to 90kgs then.

I believe that I can do it and I will tell myself every day that I am doing it.



.

Human nature

now I don't mean the Aussie boy band... what has happened to those boys anyway?? Did they break up?? Ooh back to my post lol

I mean the way people are. In their nature to be arseholes and negative, pessimistic.

Ok let me explain a bit more. I have mentioned previously about a comp that Ashy Bines ran offering $5000 for the best transformation pic. Didn't have to be a clean eater. It could have been anyone. OK so the chick who won is this gal named Erin. Well there's a lot of controversy around it all. Girls in the Ashy forum are getting shitty because a clean eating girl from Ashy's Forum should have won. Well Ashy set that the competition was open to anyone. Anyway I am sure people would not be so pissed off if so many people weren't posting in the forum about her having lap band surgery. Apparently this is cheating. OMG!!! Seriously. How in god's name is this cheating!!! From my understanding it is a pretty torturous surgery and then eating is like being in hell. 

The chick from the Ashy Forum who was winning at one stage, and subsequently stripped of her votes due to cheating or some other drama, kept going on and on and on about how Erin was not deserving as she had surgery to get where she needed. That it was not as much as an achievement as someone who did it by clean eating. I was getting angry as this girl was using the forum to put out a poor little me, I'm a mum of a few kids look how well I've done, this other girl doesn't deserve it blah blah. I voted for a different girl, my friend Rebecca that I met in the forum. She has a son, who I think just turned 1 and has done really well to drop 15ish kgs in 9 weeks! But she wasn't on there going on and on and on about why she is more deserving! If anything she was a big supporter of all the other ladies on there. Everyone deserves some accolades no matter how they achieved their weight loss.

Erin has a blog which I decided to read. All I can say is OMG! I have a new found respect for anyone who goes through lap band or any other surgery to try and achieve their goals for weight loss. A tough road for sure!

here is a link to her post. http://www.erinjayewilliams.com/apps/blog

have a read. Seriously this woman should be commended on how she beat the bulge! Who cares how she did it. She wanted to win the money so she could go and get some surgery to remove excess skin. I even noticed that some girls, who I might add are friends of the girl who did not win, saying she had surgery and therefore did not deserve to win. That Ashy opened it to anyone as a publicity stunt blah blah blah blah.  Yes Erin did have lap band surgery, but that didn't drop her weight! She had to eat to get the weight down! It took her 4 years roughly!

Honestly I feel like I am amongst some of Australia's biggest bitchy women in this forum! We are all trying to lose weight in this world and how we do it... well does it really matter if I have more success doing it the clean eating way and that I have not needed to resort to a drastic measure like surgery or needed to do it with Jenny Craig, WW or any other program out there... Does it make me any more special??? No it does not. We all have our own journeys. Be happy that someone achieved their happy ending! Why do we need to bring them down and try to take away their spirit? I have typed up so many responses to these posts and then deleted them of course. No point arguing with people who are not willing to accept any other shade than what they see as black and white. God I know this by being married to my husband! He has no inclination to see things any other way than his own way! I have no intention to replying to any of the posts as I know that from seeing other comments, these people don't get it. Oh and then there are those that say.. ooh it can't be the same person as her tattoo is on the other leg... oh seriously???? Do you not notice she has had one person take the pic and the other pic she is doing it herself in the mirror?!?!  argh idiots! I guess that some people just make that choice to pick apart a person's success rather than accept it for what it is and commend them. They have no happiness in their heart and therefore can not be truly appreciative of anyone else holding the spotlight.

I am now choosing to skip over any further posts about Erin. They just make me so... I was going to say angry but they don't make me that.. I know they make me so frustrated... I do not need anger or irrationality (part from that which comes from my 4 year old!) in my life. I am now all about surrounding myself with positivity, letting all the silly unimportant things pass by. People will be people. We all have choices. I choose not to let these people waste anymore of my energy with being frustrated at their useless comments :-)

I am sure we all know someone who has been like this. .. Doesn't even have to be in regards to weight. Can be anything. Shit I have probably been this kind of person in the past. If I had then I am sorry.  I am trying to enrich my life and bring positivity to it. So I assure you it won't happen again :-) And if it does just give me a sign.. maybe the peace fingers and I'll pull my head in lol

I am choosing to ignore the negative people in my life and get rid of those that I can :-) I only want to be surrounded by supportive people. The saying is true... Life is too short :-)

In saying that Night peeps.

PS Fingers crossed to waking nice and refreshed in the morning..  ready to get back into the gym!!!! Withdrawals for sure x

Affirmations!

I was reading the other day that what you believe and put out there in the universe is what comes back to you. So be negative and you never catch a break, send positives vibes out and they will rebound to you.

I thought about this some this afternoon while I tried laying in bed to get rid of this migraine.... which I might add is still hanging it's sorry arse around :-(
Anyway I thought ok.... my doubts in my ability to get to my goal may be what is limiting me. Maybe I am convincing myself that I am never getting to 80s.

So I am going to start giving myself positive affirmations every morning.. telling myself that I am a fantastic healthy clean eating training woman who is a moment closer to the doubles! Will get there for sure. If you believe it, the body will do it!!!!

Wow I have just been on Facebook and on the Ashy Clean Eating Forum. Holy cow some woman are nasty. One woman voiced her opinion that she wanted a refund because she felt that paying $69 for the clean eating guidelines, forum access etc was a waste of money. Anyway of course it got nasty and heated and she was being nasty and then others were being supportive of Ashy back and in the end it comes out that she was supporting her friend that was disqualified from Body Transformation comp due to votes etc. God it was terrible. I wanted to comment but I know what it is like if you make a comment and others don't agree wiht it and it escalates. I swore to myself that I wouldn't get involved in things like that nor point out things are being done wrong as it gets you no where. And with over 11000 women on the site it is bound to get bitchy. My focus is me and to be a supportive friend to those who have their own journeys :-) I did like a few comments though about footy and stuff.... Girls trying to change the subject. Post has now been deleted. So terrible. 

Anyway positive vibes out there :-)

Change

ok so today I woke with a re surge of energy and focus.... that is despite the massive headache that has consumed me all day!!!!!

I started out at 116.6 and yes the road has been slow and not full of 100% effort. I've lost 11.5kgs. So I'm now down to 105.1kgs. That is fabulous! Now imagine what I could be achieving if I was placing 100% effort in daily???? I could well and truly be in double digits now.

Well I figure that change is needed. As I was warm and cosy in bed last night I thought about what I was doing, what was needed and how can I incorporate that into my daily routine. I've tried to commit to being dedicated again before and failed. I've let old habits slip in.

It is going to be hard work but the saying rings true! The pain of staying the same is worse than anything needed to change.

I've set myself a 4 week challenge. So here is what I am going to do;

1. Commit to 100% clean eating for 4 weeks. No variances ooh and I am eliminating coffee and tea! Will T R Y and get into green tea but rather go without anything like that and have one coffee a week as a treat. Once I have double choc Protowhey again I will have a hot choc before bed.
2. Commit to exercise 6 days a week (took today as my rest day rather than tomorrow or Friday this week)
3. Drink minimum of 2 litres of water a day. This will be a big focus.

I thought to try and keep it basic for the next 4 weeks. Just to get my head back around the principles of clean eating, wean myself off the carbs and sugar I have been consuming the last few days.
See how I go. Actually no no I will be rocking this! My body will be steps closer to that banging body I know is screaming to get out!!!!!!

New Motivation

this is the shirt I won on FreaknFit Gym Motivation's site in Feb. I posted this pic on here a while ago when I won it. It has been hanging on my walk-in robe door waiting patiently for me to fit into it.

I walked past it tonight and had a look at it, tried it on.....  nah doesn't fit nicely yet the bugger! But I read the words and they really do make sense.. Live Life, Love Life.

For so long I have just been going through daily motions and just plodding along in life. Go to work, come home, get Eleanor's evening routine started, dinner, bed and then repeat. Fell pregnant continued with the same, moved to Singleton, had Lucy and repeat routine minus working as Lucille is my full time job. Time has flown since she was born last year in February. I really feel like I have missed so much of her baby stage as I just was going through the motions of life. I don't think I suffered any PND this time round but with being away from family, finding my feet in a new town.... well life just got swept away.

I don't want that to happen anymore. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, to feel so self conscious in social situations. I want to get out there and Live Life to Love the Life I am living. I know I am on my way there and being more active then ever with Eleanor and Lucy and feel better within myself but I just don't want to feel like that person who hides in corners.

Take today for instance. Went out to the army base to watch the boys play footy... no not Andrew.. Jesus no way would he play footy.. but watch his mates play. I was looking forward to it. I enjoyed my time there but just felt out of place a little. All the girls looked great and I just felt out of place. No they did not make me feel like that as they are not like that at all. But I felt self conscious. I don't know why. Maybe new surroundings and I am feeling a bit blah due to TTOM. I'll get there. Maybe some new clothes might help me feel a bit better about me. I so desperately need them!!!!! I was wearing my bloody baggy jeans and over sized shirt. It is probably because I didn't feel comfortable in what I was wearing that put me off. Who knows. Anyway the point is I am sick of feeling self conscious, shying away from people, wanting to retreat into my own little abyss of security. I want my girls to have friends outside  school. To interact with other parents and not my close group of friends. I want to go places and not shy away from doing that because I don't like what I have to wear etc, or feeling so blah about myself.

Seeing this shirt... well I see it every day but maybe the word is "understanding" this shirt truly today has given me the motivation I need to just get the job done.

No more straying outside the boundaries of my meals. Eat what I need not what I want. Eat to fuel rather then just feed.

Ok so all that is left to be said is;

night peeps :-)

oh crap

that's exactly what I did tonight. ATE CRAP!!!! So disappointed but oh well shit happens. Not going to beat myself up about it. I am human. Moving right along tomorrow and will pull myself back into line and focus on the end result.

I have noticed though that when I am extremely tired or stressed that is when I go searching for it. I had a small packet of chips, toast with butter and a crunchie a moment ago when I just went up to the shops to get Lucille some more formula. It was the worst I've been in a while. I'm not an emotional eater and would much prefer to slog it out exercise wise but stress and tiredness blah..

oh and jesus TTOM is painful!!! Some months I have cravings others I don't. This month ahhh yep indeed lol Oh well just have to deal with it, try and make good choices and know it will be over soon   :-)

Fave songs right now

Well I wanted to post You Tube videos of my two fave songs but stupid Blogspot won't let me.
Will try again. Hope they work :-)

This is Jennifer Lopez feat Pitbull "Dance Again"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjgFH01k0gU

This is Rhianna "Where Have You Been" (I still am not a fan but I love the song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-0OuRVCAK8&ob=av2n

And Pitbull "Back in Time"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIDwgpBh0Aw

These songs just get me moving more. Love it!!!!!

A brand new day!

ok after a terrible night with Lucy, 6+ nappy changes and 4 baths due to her having a bug or something I am so dead tired. Actually if you looked at the bags under my eyes today you would think I was 80  years old!!!! ha ha. Eleanor is at school today and thank god as I doubt I'd be able to keep my cool today with her attitude she's been having.. definitely from daddy!!!!

Anyway I spoke a while ago about a lady that I had made feel miserable on the Ashy forum. Well she is on the forum!!! Woo hoo! I am so pleased that the experience didn't turn her away permanently. I would hate to think I ruined any one's chance at making themselves a better versions. She has a new group she is trying to set up for girls over 100kgs. I want to join but I just don't know how I'll be received. I mean she was quite annoyed with me :-( I'll send a post and see what happens. I'd love to help anyone who is on the weight loss path. It is so damn hard and even harder when you don't feel you have a network of support to turn to when you need it. Hell I know I'd have not gotten so far this time if I didn't have that network. In saying that this time I an very determined though! See what happens. I'll keep you posted.. Fingers crossed x

So I have been sitting at 105ish for last  fortnight and I am sick of it. I am slogging my butt off exercising but nothing is shifting. I know why though... FOOD! Yes the bloody dreaded food! I have been so good but I have noticed that it is the extras that I am having that are probably letting me down. The extra cups of tea through the day and night, the nibble of Eleanor's or Lucille's sandwiches, the extra bit of butter on my morning slice of toast. Also lack of water. I know how much water makes weight loss so much better yet I am back to old habits... ooh in saying that I will go get my water bottle :-)

Ok so I have done up a meal plan that I will stick to 100% from Monday. I say Monday as that is the start of my weight week. I will be diligent with snacks and water. Watch my portions for lunch and Dinner and keep carbs to breakfast and have sweet potato if any at dinner. I am going to stop mountain bread and ryvitas again for the week.

Snacks will be only either: green apple chopped with tablespoon of Peanut butter. Discovered this yesterday thanks to a lovely lady on the forum. Don't knock it peeps it is delicious!!!!! Getting the benefits of the apple and then protein in the Natural Peanut butter. No not the Kraft one with added crap in it, the Sanitarium or Macro ones which are purely peanuts. Nothing else. OMG it is devine. Two totally different tastes and textures combining Anyway. I will have 1/2 cup of Natural yoghurt with frozen berries (fresh are so dear and crap these days), or I will have a handful of mixed nuts.

Breakfast will be one of these three items;
Uncle Toby's Quick oats (sachet) with the water replaced with Almond Milk for Protein and a scoop of Protein powder.
2 poached eggs, slice Burgen Rye, baby spinach and Rocket (yes a smear of butter and tomato chutney)
Protein smoothie; 2 scoops of protowhey, 1 cup Almond Milk, 1/3 cup Oat bran, 2 tbs LSA mix, 1/2 chopped frozen banana, and a few frozen berries DELICIOUS

Lunch will be standard;
Moroccan Chicken or Lamb with either steamed greens or a salad of Roasted Sweet Potato, red onion, baby spinach and rocket, roasted beetroot, steamed zucchini and  a tbs of ricotta.

Dinner varies and I will post a pic of what and the recipe that night or the next day

I want to try and get some consistency back into my meals. I know this lets me down and I wander off track a wee bit. Time to tighten the reigns and get back on track and get these triple digits gone for good!!!


oooh I have been gone sorting out Lucy (thankfully no dirty nappies!!!! lol) and checking out FB.

I am pleased to say that I now have joined a great support group in the Ashy Forum and I am stoked!!! I look forward to being there for my new found buddies and of course allowing myself to lean on them when needed :-) You don't realise how good this is for the soul. If you are reading this.. THANK YOU so much for accepting my friend request and allowing me to join the group! I am very pleased that you can  discover the very supportive and friendly Wendi that you may not have had the opportunity to meet in our first encounter. I haven't named you as I don't think it is necessary nor to bring any more focus on the past but please feel free to comment if you like :-)

ok so the monkey is asleep... well I can no longer hear her so that is a good sign right!

Off to work out.. Such a glorious day in the Hunter today wish I was exercising outside. Might have to go for a drive when the cherub wakes :-) for now it is on the treadmill and some weights for me :-) this is my most favourite saying and I post it often. Whenever I feel like crap I just do it and I feel better for it.
Bye for now :-)

Preparation is key

ok so I have worked out that the last few weeks I have really been winging it in regards to meals.

I am going to sit down in the morning and utilise my fridge planner that I have and have every meal for the week written down including snacks then I can't deviate.

I had a 100gm loss this week! I am disappointed for sure. But again my diet has not been tight!

BUT in saying that and kicking myself up the bum for it I have lost some pretty awesome cms.

ok so to put it in perspective as to how far I have come I will put starting emasurements from gym 9/2 and my measurements today 14/5.

9/2/2012                            14/05/2012
BUST:        120CM           114CM      LOSS 6CM
WAIST:     118CM           110CM      LOSS 8CM
HIPS:         135CM           119CM      LOSS 16CM!!!!!!!!!!!
THIGHS:   75CM              70CM       LOSS 5CM

I am so pleased with my efforts! Sure it has been a bit slower than I would have liked but when I put the figures side by side it is truly fantastic!!!!

Really pushes me and makes me want to really tighten up my food from right this moment forward.

Last Sunday I made a committment and I wantesd to revist that committment and see how I ended up in this past week. I've copied and posted below.

• eating 5 meals daily that are 100% clean I can say that perhaps I did this 95% of the time. This is not good enough. So will set this as a new goal to take forward to this week and the meal planner should help with that.
• exercising 6 days with full intensity and with nothing left in the tank and ensuring a minimum 500 calories are burnt on my cardio days if not every day! Amen!!! Yes I can wholeheartedly say I did this! WOOT! Loving the exercise and the new session Jac and I created :-)
• stamping excuses out of my mind before they have a chance to set in and do damage Don't think that I used any this past week. Will try to take more of a notice this week.
• not allowing others to influence the way my day is shaped (except of course the kidlets.. the unpredictable buggers) I can say that this would be true.... oh except for bloody Singleton car parkers lol but that is not something I can control :-) I did get a bit disheartened when a post I had made to a new girl on the clean eating forum I am part of, was taken wrongly and then a few girls just over reacted on it and blew it all out and made the situation worse. I was so controlled though and did not respond and tell them to pull their heads in though I sure as shit wanted to. I felt bad for her though as she had come on to the forum as an admin error for free whereas girls have to pay for it. Now she is scared away from it. I figure though if you were truly going to buy it you would have anyway but not something I need to allow to occupy my thoughts. I did email her and try to clear the air but failed miserably. I feel that I didn't make the situation the way it was though as I was polite and in no way rude to her. The girls who feel they need to be rude where the ones making it worse. If anything that is the downfall of the forum. I love going on there as some helpful advice, recipes and helps on days when you are blah but with over 10000 women, there is surely going to be some bitches! Plus there was a comp running recently to win 5000 for the best transformation. I met a lovely girl on their Rebecca and I voted for her. She is a mum with a young child and getting out there and doing it. no excuses. Some women in the comp were just being rude, nasty and ugly. Anyway not letting it affect me :-)
• drinking my 2+ litres of water daily Yes and then some
• to take all my supplements as required forgot a few days :-(
• to be in bed daily no later than 9pm (I'm late tonight already! oh wait starting tomorrow..phew lol) EPIC FAIL!!!!!

I will address these tomo though.. Night  xxx

lol yes I am dead tired and just have to go before it gets too late!

Session Today WE ROCKED IT

Well today our session was awesome!!!!!! Loved every painful minute of it lol
No seriously I did.

We did the same circuit as last week, though pretty much started with a warm up jog, then straight into it. 5 rounds and then 15 tricep dips, 15 push ups against park bench. 4 then 3 then 2 then 1. We had another chick that was there so sometimes when she was using the park bench I had gone up and started the next round and then did double the tricep and push ups. Those were bloody hard!!! I might next time do sit ups or bring a weight and do the swings I was talking about.

When we finished my heart rate monitor had only registered 272 calories!!!! WTF!!! I know that last time it had stopped and started and we still managed 471calories I think it was. So it obviously really played up. We decided to do the reverse of our set so up and down the stairs and then up the hill via the path and down the stairs, do triceps and push ups and then around again. We did  3 2 1  this time. Finished and only 470 calories so a few laps up and down the stairs until we got over 500 calories!!!!
HOLY SHITE!!!!!! Was so hard!!! But god it felt good. I'm so pleased I have Jac to do this with as it really pushes you and as she is fitter she is a lap or two ahead of me so it keeps me pushing and not give up to catch up to her. Ooh and when we got to the reverse session I was definitely giving myself a pep talking to! I was just telling myself I could do it and if I believed it then my body would too, that pain is only temporary but that being fat is forever if I didn't push. Just things like that. It worked as I stopped only a handful of times while running etc. Did a few power walks up the path in the last session. But I didn't quit and that is all that matters!

It really has mixed up my exercise and I don't feel bored!!! I do love my home work out and pushing myself with sprints on the treadmill but this is really testing my cardio and endurance I love it!

Will need to sit down and redo my weekly workout plan so I can assure that I am getting everything worked properly :-)

We both felt flat this morning and so glad that we had the other to depend on to get motivated as it really was an awesome session!

Acceptance

After putting my pics on here I have been slightly concerned but today I turned a corner.. they are my bragging rights. They are my pics to say hey I bloody earnt the right to brag about my success. Sure work in progress but at least I am working. I know that the readers of my blog are so supportive and would not be judging me at all. My anxious thoughts come from the fact that my blog is public. I can change who views my blog and perhaps I will but then that changes the ability for people to comment easily and I look forward to comments..... It means people are reading :-)

Now I have hated my body for I don't know how long.... last 6ish + years. But seeing the changes in my pics I am turning a corner. I accept that I am not on the cover of Vogue, I accept that men may not find me attractive... It doesn't matter right at this very moment even what Andrew thinks, as I finally love my body. I'm the one who has to live in it. Sure I am still not entirely happy with my body.. but I know that I am working on improving it and while I am doing that I am bringing out the best version of me.

I can finally say that I am happy and accepting of me... I just want to improve some external aspects
  :-)

hmmm

I feel so sore! oh my goodness what a workout yesterday and the crazy thing?!?!?! Going to do it again tomorrow!!!! I KNOW CRAZY RIGHT! Thinking I might do a few sit ups, push ups and tricep dips and then the stairs, run. Maybe even do some kettlebell squats but with a plate instead as I don't own a kettlebell. Jac has her injured wrist so still unable to do arm stuff but does the plank. hmmm

I can't wait though. A bit concerned I'll be dead on Sunday but hey that is ok lol.. I'll be dead with a nice butt and legs!!! lol

I sure as shit hope so lol

oh dear

aint this the truth. Awesome workout yesterday.. dead sore today!!!

No pain no gain :-)

ok here they are

alright now hold onto your breakfast. here is my pics. I am posting them as well it is my blog and I feel I need to keep accountability and I read my blog daily to revisit thoughts etc. Shit maybe someone will find some inspiration in them and see changes too :-) I apologise in advance for the boob shot from today but I was trying to remember to do it as I was sorting out the girls this morning before gym. I wanted to do the next lot in the same shirt. I will do it for the next ones in a fortnight.

I have posted the last ones again and these ones. Not quite a fortnight. Will do measurements on Monday again. I know they are not as close etc and different angles but you still see clearly and the camera doesn't lie :-)

 21/2/2012                                                          10/05/2012

I am loving that I am losing my baby tummy. Loving the hips are slimming down nicely. Loving that my thighs now have a gap between them almost. I love that although they still touch they don't rub.. Does that make sense????

Anyway here they are :-)

You are awesome!

ok so I woke this morning and stripped down to my knickers and  pink bed bra.. Took some progress shots. I hadn't taken any in a fortnight!!! Wowsers!!!!1 I am liking what I see. I don't know if I will post them on here as the pic is pretty boobie as it is my bed bra lol. But so much difference since last ones! So excited to see progress

Today I had an awesome session with Jac doing a stair circuit. FARK I am exhausted! I have been wanting to get out of my comfort zone a bit lately and shit that did it!!! Stair sprints and then a jog down the path back to the bottom, 1 minute of tricep dips and push ups on the park bench. Started with 5 laps of the steps and then worked down to one. Was so good. Tried my hardest to jog most of it and really keep working hard. There was no problem with that as I worked my arse off. The tricep dips got harder and push ups too as we go to the 3 rd set.  I aimed to do 15 tricep dips and 12 push ups. I really feel it now! Felt amazing afterwards. have really missed that burn! Might pack a weight in the car and do some swing squat thingys with it too next time. Bit more of a circuit. Loved it!

I kept saying this over and over when it was hard to keep my arse moving. I felt like dying towards the end! Woot!!!

Day 3- Wednesday

I saw this on Million Dollar Baby Fitness Fb page and I love it.

Today is the day I did legs and butt however I thought about it a bit more than that later.

I kept thinking what do I want to start, give up or make a difference with from today.

As I drove to Rutherford to do our groceries I thought about it. Taking in our beautiful scenery. As I was stuck in traffic on our way home and observing the most gorgeous sunset I thought about it.

So from when I stepped off at about 3 to getting home at about 530ish I am still none the wiser as to what it is.

I think though that Today is the day I will put to bed any issues I have with my body. I will embrace it, enjoy clean eating, exercising and just live life. I found this one

So very true. If I keep hating on my body it is going to be hard to look after it. Sure I have slight stretch marks on my belly but hey they are character hey, besides my daughter's gave me those (Bitches lol KIDDING). My arse, waist, hips and thighs are shrinking. I am getting some killer curves and I just need to embrace this. It will happen. As Ashy says, it is a marathon not a sprint. It won't happen quickly but it will happen. Enjoy that I am changing and love the new me. Leave the old me..... the grumpy, depressive, unhappy, self loathing Wendi behind. 

I am a lot more fun now. I get active with Eleanor outside, I dance with Lucille and be more encouraging to get her playing more... and walking. Andrew sees a less snappy bitchy Wendi... though sometimes it is my wifey duties and his stubbornness that brings the grumpy Wendi out lol. But you know what I love the changes in me. I am looking in the mirror and seeing improvements to my body shape and I love it. But I love that things don't stress me out like they used. I think I finally think more about me then I have in the last 4ish years. I am still the same Wendi who is there for anyone and lends an ear when needed, will give you the shirt of my back even if it is bloody freezing and I need it too! lol But you know what I mean. I am still caring and all those similar qualities but I guess I just look after me more.

Anyway enough dribble.

Food today;

I can't even remember what I had. Will need to check the planner on the fridge. .. oh wait I had a mountain bread wrap with 2 boiled eggs sliced up, rocket and baby spinach, tsp of Tomato Chutney and 50gms of lean ham. (yes I know it is not a clean food and is processed but I love my Deli ham and I won't give that up just yet. I am having considerably less than I would normally but yes still have it) Snack is banana. Lunch was just 100gm roast chicken meat. Didn't any salad or veg. Arvo snack was some raw mixed nuts (Brazil nuts, walnuts, almonds and peanuts) Dinner was the yummiest steak I have had in oh my god sooooooo long. Andrew loves Blade Steak and I don't. It is so damn tough!!! No matter how you cook it. I love my steak medium. Anyway Woolies had Scotch Fillet on sale. Holy Jesus it was so good. So tender and oh it was just great!!!!!! I am buying it from now on. Will buy blade for Andrew and scotch fillet for me. Soooo good!!!! Had side salad with it.

Looking forward to getting a great cardio session done with Jac tomorrow. Will be really great! Stair sprints, tricep dips, pushups, lunges, step ups. Running from the gym to the steps and back.

My lovely friend Nicky that I met here goes to a group PT class on Wednesdays and I am thinking I might join. Just to mix it a bit. I did meet Eleanor's school friend Chloe's mum yesterday and I am sure she does boxing on Mondays so might do that too! Need to mix it a bit as I feel I am needing a bit more intensity in my routines. See how I go.

Anyway nighty night peeps. Sweet dreams x

Day 2- Tuesday

I see and hear so many times on different health eating sites and in my own weightloss journey..."ooh don't worry if you have eaten that, you can just burn it by exercising" or "you can have that biscuit, you can just burn it off".  Um I don't want to flog my body to remove food I have just eaten. I want to strengthen my body, and tone and lose the weight I am already carrying. Thankfully it doesn't relate much in my life as I don't eat crap or very rarely so I don't need to use that line, but I see it everywhere on FB. I love my exercise. I don't want to hate it because it is a flogging tool for being naughty in my diet!

Today I have been clean in my eating, ooh except a hot choccie tonight. ran out of Protowhey so had to use the Cadbury's Drinking Chocolate. Was delicious but couldn't really enjoy it knowing I was having milk and the sugar content in the hot chocolate.
breakfast was 2 boiled eggs on slice rye, with spinach and rocket, lunch was left over Mexican pie from last night. Dinner was chicken and salad. Snacks banana and some nuts, arvo snack some egg whites.

Drank over 3 litres of water!!! Thankfully as my session today was hard.

Exercise was arms, chest and back today.

Warm up with 20 mins crdio on treadmill. Ran at 9km for 1 min30  today!! Maintained most of time 6.5kmh with incline 1. had running bursts in between but dropped back to no lower than 6.5kmh

Tricep extension with 7.5kg weight 3 x 8reps
Tricep dips 3 x 8
Pushups 3 x 8 on knees extended
Bicep curls 3 x 21s (7 top half, 7 lower half, 7 full lift) 7 kg each hand
back 3 x 8 7kg each hand
front raises 3 x 8 7kg each hand
2 x 1min planks (went over on each but aimed for 1 min)
did a few other little things in the Michelle Bridges dvd but this was main exercises.

burnt 472 calories.

Looking forward to tomorrow as it is legs again.

can't wait to get back to Townsville and do sessions with Toni. She will smash me. Can't wait to show her how far my cardio and strength has come. And also to show the changes in my body. Not sure if I will see her before September at Hayley and James's wedding but by then I will be definitely in the 80s!!!! So can't wait!!

oooh Biggest Loser ended tonight. What will I watch now???? Glad Margie won. She was a bitch in the beginning and I hater her but she has grown up a lot and is no longer that spiteful woman! Awesome result. Only beat Alex by a bee's dick. She looks great too.

Anyway nighty night xx

Who do you want to be?

I saw this and thought hmmmm who do I want to be???

Well let me tell you. I want to be;

• happy and content
• fit and energised
• making healthy choices in life 99% of the time... (come on everyone is allowed wine and some Cactus Jacks once in a while lol)
• a great role model for our daughters, showing them the right way to eat and how to enjoy an active lifestyle
• Sexy and confident in my skin- not just externally but internally also.
• wearing clothes that look great on and are stylish - not wearing clothes just because they fit

Each day I am taking bigger steps towards this and I can see it. I visited a friend who lives around the corner. Normally I would drive, but popped Eleanor on her bike and as I still had my sneakers on I walked around. We chased each other there. Was so much fun. I would normally not have the energy to do this but I loved it! Eleanor loved it too. Going to take her to the park more so she can ride and be outdoors more. Lucille is getting her walking on, still slow and steady and only a few steps at a time but I am looking forward to when she is more active and can walk. I miss my baby terribly but she gets frustrated that she can't be chasing us so to have her join in our fun would be awesome. I carry her and chase Eleanor but it would be so nice to have her chasing me and I chasing her.

I can't wait to wear clothes that fit so nicely and are stylish. To no longer have to walk into stores like Autograph and the bigger sized stores will be heaven. I need to go back to work just to be able to afford the new clothes I need!!!

I love the change in my eating. I love trying to find healthier food options and changing the ingredients in my tried and tested meals. I have found a yummy recipe for some protein biscuits. Can't wait to try them tomorrow and I will then post the recipe if they are decent lol and a pic of course

Here's to reinventing Wendi :-)

Day 1- Monday

I have woken today with an amazing outlook and determination. I really am going to chase those goals this week. I am aiming to get close to double digits as I can!!

I weighed in and ok yes it was 200gms... 105.4kg It is a loss and I am grateful that it was not a gain. The big deal is that I have lost 5cm of my hips!!!! WOOOT!!! I am stoked. So so stoked! I lost 2cms of my thighs and 1cm off my waist and almost 1cm off my bust! I've done a lot of lower body work so that could be why it was a big deal on hips. I really need to tackle arms and can't wait until my PT gets back from holidays and does me a program. I will do my Michelle Bridges Dvd tomorrow with arms. 

I had a glass of lemon water when I woke to get the digestive system moving.

A banana and then I am off to the gym. I drink Xtend whilst I'm doing my workout. Feel that it made a huge difference with muscle soreness after Saturday's session! Here is a link to a review done on Xtend for those who don't use it and curious about it.

http://thesupplementden.com.au/shop/supplements/amino-acids/xtend-scivation

1 hour later and 400calories burnt- Assisted squats killed today!!! 20kg ones are a bitch!!! lol Protowhey shake straight after

Breakfast was a slice of Burgen Rye toast, 2 poached eggs, Rocket and baby spinach. No mid morning snack due to session finishing at 1030 and having my big breakfast then

Lunch will be left over Mexican Pie with steamed vegies.

arvo snack will be 10 almonds

Dinner- hmmm not sure yet. Trying to work out weekly meal plan now for dinners. I have steak so I would say Steak and steamed veg.

Will have protowhey hot choc before bed.

As my right thigh is feeling a bit sore due to corking it a bit doing some fit ball sit ups I will go for a light walk this arvo to stretch it out a bit. See how it goes. No legs work until Wednesday. Arms tomorrow so should be ok. Will pay to prob rest it a bit and do some stretches. See how we go.

Commitment

When we focus on something in life whether it be to lose weight, to get fit, to get out of debt, to finish a course, to start a course, to get out of the rental cycle, Whatever it is, it is not going to happen without 100% commitment.

This past week I have been committed in my exercise. I have given 100% of myself, in my food I've given 90% of myself.

Food is where I have lost focus. Not for any reason. Not because it is hard as it isn't. I love eating healthy and don't find it challenging at all. But let's be honest eating crappy without any thought is so much easier. When we are tired or exhausted like I have been for the past few days it is easier to eat something naughty then take the time to get something a bit healthier. I know that after my fabulous week last week I am not expecting any miracles! And I am pissed at myself for this. I am pissed that I have ruined some fabulous progress.

Ok now that is said and done. Where do we go from here?? Do we say "You know what fuck it. I am going to continue on this path as it is the easier path" as your foot is hovering in the air for a step forward. OR Do we say "No" Stomp our foot back down and say "Brakes on. Enough is enough???!!"

So I am stamping my foot beside the other and saying enough. Stop doing this. Stop "allowing" yourself to have excuses for bad eating. Moving forward 100% determined with full commitment!

So this week I commit to;

• eating 5 meals daily that are 100% clean
• exercising 6 days with full intensity and with nothing left in the tank and ensuring a minimum 500 calories are burnt on my cardio days if not every day!
• stamping excuses out of my mind before they have a chance to set in and do damage
• not allowing others to influence the way my day is shaped (except of course the kidlets.. the unpredictable buggers)
• drinking my 2+ litres of water daily
• to take all my supplements as required
• to be in bed daily no later than 9pm (I'm late tonight already! oh wait starting tomorrow..phew lol) 

I will record a daily blog entry to tackle any issues that may be troubling me to ensure they do not carry on to the next day and to also post my food choices and exercise so that I can be held accountable.

So in saying that good night, sweet dreams. See you this bad week of mine... and I look forward to seeing a brand new week and Wendi in the morning

Blah

I am seriously feeling really blah. Today I woke up in a bad funk. Just really feeling.... um.... anxious I think the word is I am looking for.... hmmm defeated may be another. Overwhelmed.... that is it. Overwhelmed.. I feel overwhelmed.

I don't know why as I am not thinking anything in particular. maybe it is the uncertainty of where our future lies at the end of the year... maybe as to whether I will be returning to Townsville and lose my position with Centrelink as I am not sure I will get transferred into anywhere else. Overwhelmed that although I have lost 11kgs I still have 25ish to go.

I don't know what it is but I have some goals set and I am going to achieve them. This motivational sums it up brilliantly. I am a woman of my word and I will make it happen.

I can do this. I know I can. My vow to myself is not to use the words "CAN'T or CAN NOT" I can and will do this!

Grrrr

On the Ashy Forum there is posts about girls being criticised by friends for changing their eating and that clean eating is extreme etc etc.

This makes me mad as clean eating is the way we are meant to eat. We are so full of convenience food and over processed crap these days that we really need to take a step back and get back to basics. I love the eating I do now. Sure it is not 100% clean as I still love my Mocona Latte Sticks and sugar and milk. Sure I love butter on my Rye toast still. Sure I have BBQ sauce. But my veg and meat intake has increased considerably.

I have for breakfast either a protein smoothie OR oats with banana and Almond Milk OR 2 poached eggs on a slice of Rye, with baby spinach and rocket and mushrooms
Lunch is chicken with salad or steamed greens generally.
Dinner can be protein and salad or veg, can have some lean mince made into a clean lasagna or Mexican Pie. Or I have chicken kebabs and salad and veg. You are only limited by your imagination.  The aim is to be as clean and as least processed as possible. You still eat 5 times a day, 3 main meals with breakfast being the biggest and then 2 snacks.

Maybe my exercise might seem extreme..... Um yes an 11 km walk was a bit longer than usual but it was great!!!!

No one has been negative to me about what I am doing but then I guess apart from on here and my close friends, they are the only ones who know what I am doing. Fb peeps know I am losing weight etc but I don't know.. maybe if I was in the Call Centre and was chatting daily to people someone would have  a comment... who knows... who cares. I am doing this for me and what people's opinions are of it is really irrelevant. Still doesn't give me confidence to post my pics on Asy's Site though. Just too much access to news feed and others seeing it I am afraid :-(
I've seen what people have commented on other girls pics. Nasty nasty people out there. So just in here I will do it. My own little environment. lol