the toughest job

any mums out there struggling with the thoughts of returning to work from maternity leave or struggled with those thoughts?? That is me right now. Well I have to do it. There is no if, but or maybes, for the sake of our financial future I must return.

Do I like this idea??? Um NO. I love being at home with my girls. I love seeing Lucy growing into a gorgeous little cherub. I returned to work at 5 months with Eleanor and then went back on maternity leave at 6months until she was 1 year old. Lucy is 15 months and I have been home since birth.

Do I want to?? YES. ..Ok I know this sounds like a bit of a contradiction to the previous answer doesn't it? Let me explain. I love being home with my girls and I would love to stay home forever and not have to return to work. Unfortunately though the world revolves around money and we need it to survive. I do actually miss working though. I miss making my own money. (Andrew and I don't have the attitude of "this is yours this is mine" when it comes to money but I like to contribute) I like going to work and knowing I am helping our household out financially. I have the best job in the world. I am a mummy. It is the most rewarding job but also the hardest job too. I'm a social person. I love people. I must be around them all the time. It helps to keep me sane. I miss my work colleagues in Townsville.

So I struggle with this decision daily and it stresses me at times but stressing and struggling about money is not doing them any favours. So Newcastle or Townsville that is the question? Do I return to Townsville seeing we are going to be back there next year anyway or do I continue to try and get a job at Newy to tie me over until the end of the year???

I am so pleased to be returning to Townsville next year. ( we should be back at the end of this year but I say next year as that is when Andrew will start work) Now it still is not 100% confirmed as we have not received our posting order but 99.9% certainty. I will miss here though. I love how we have to travel a bit to get see things and there is just so much to see in such a little space. Although it is effing freezing, the weather is glorious on most days and rain is minimal compared to the tropical crap that is Nth Qld. I don't want a steamy humid yuck Summer. I love the dry ones here. I have great friends here (yes I have some there too)

I guess I am just having a moment of sadness that life is changing in a few months. I will be back at work soon. I've become settled in Singleton and now have to relocate and only relocate for a year while Andrew decides whether he will 100% core transfer to become a vehicle mechanic and then get out of the army. But no matter what else I am thinking or that is happening around me, I purely and simply feel guilty that I am looking forward to not being home 24/7! I know I shouldn't and it is just life but you can't help it. Oh well one has to do what one has to do regardless of what people's opinions are. Mind you it is our lives and we are living it not anyone else :-)

We are trying to work out what the best balance will be for us.