Doctor Visit-- um womanly topic-- read at own risk

Well I finally decided to get my elbow sorted out after I injured it on my trip to Townsville. What happened was I had gone to the Hermit Park Shops and just as we pulled in a stupid trolley came rolling towards the car as some retard couldn't walk 5 meters to return it. ANYWAY. So I quickly opened my door and reached my hand around to stop it hitting. Jarred my arm. It has been sore for ages. Have good days and bad days. Mostly days when I'd lifted Lucille heaps it kills at night and a lot more recently after Aqua.

So saw Dr Brooks here in good old Singleton town and she was lovely. Highly likely I have tendinitis in it!!! Yeah great NOT. So she has given me some anti inflammatory meds for a fortnight, no lifting, no aqua or any other upper body.. well arm exercises anyway. FARK! So it will be mostly cardio for me for the next fortnight as I can't do push ups, burpees, tricep dips and any other weight bearing exercises
:-( POO
Don't worry I aim to flog myself cardio wise to stay on track. I can still do lunges and other lower body exercises.

Ooh and while there I chatted about my migraines. As I said previously since having Lucille I have had the worst migraines once I started getting my period back. I went back on my old pill and shit they were bad.. the migraines I mean... And the moods.. oh my god the moods.. at times I could murder a whole nation of men if I was given half a chance ha ha. I'm usually pretty good with them..
So she says that I have been so fortunate to not have them before and been pretty lucky to even have always had light ones.. SORRY BOYS IF YOU ARE READING THIS... anyway we can trial me on different hormone based pills to see if they make any difference but she stated "it was a long shot". She suggested using aspirin to "cure" them as opposed to Panadol and Ibuprofen. She explained why it works more effectively and assures they stay for a shorter period but while talking to her Lucille was fussing a bit so I have forgotten and I am sure if I googled it I would remember. But at the time it made sense. So next time I have a migraine HOPEFULLY THERE ISN'T ONE, I will trial it. 

Unfortunately she couldn't give me too much assistance other than pills to try and fix it. I don't want to go back on a hormonal pill. I don't have a particular reason really other than I just don't want to! Andrew and I discuss the snip for boys all the time and he says yeah ok I will but I really do think hell would freeze first. I must admit I am ok with the idea of me just doing it. I honestly don't care. My priority is not having anymore children. I just don't want anymore. I love my girls so much and would not give them back for anything in the world ever. But I just don't want any more kids.  I hate the baby stage. They are so dependant on you and you don't know what is wrong with them at times and there is so much pressure on breastfeeding, and just overall what you do with your babies that I just don't want anymore pressure on myself.

As those close to me know I struggled big time with Eleanor.. She was a dreadful baby. Mostly at night time....but also through the day too. She had severe Urinary infections which at the time we did not know what was causing them and by the time she was one we did and she was operated on. Thankfully no UTI since but she was a handful. There was no easy way to get her to sleep. I know now it was not that I couldn't get her into a sleeping pattern it was that she was in pain. I felt so bad cause at times I wished she'd disappear and just be quiet. I think I really struggled with a mild PND but never got diagnosed or wished to be diagnosed with it. Not that I think that there is a stereotype or anything like that, I was always a strong woman and thought that when it came to me having babies I would cope no dramas at all..I am unfortunately someone who tries to deal with things on her own and if you push and ask me what is wrong often enough I will spill my beans.. Persistence.. My family especially knows this..

 My pregnancy with Eleanor was a dream. ..minimal weight gain, no morning sickness.... I loved it. Labour was good, no painkillers. Was awesome... god can Labour and awesome go in the same sentence???? I failed at breastfeeding as my right breast would not produce... 3.5 weeks in and it is Good Friday, she is not getting any milk I made the choice to formula feed. That was a hard decision as I always thought I'd breast feed. I had two friends who breastfed and it was always seeming easy and second nature to them but not to me. As the issues with Eleanor began to arise I struggled with social gatherings. I stuck to a very close group around me and shun those who I felt critical of my mothering or not supportive of me.. I had a wonderful support in my friend Dee who was always checking to make sure I was okok. Anyway long story short I don't feel connected to them anymore due to the lack of support and understanding I received from them. We chatted about it one day and I tried to rectify the situation but it felt like a me and against them kind of stance and I made the effort to not cancel, but it never got back to normal. I just don't think they understood it or at least tried to and made it more about them and their feelings than how I was feeling and my reasons... there was even a tree that my cancellations were notched up against and a tally recorded of Wendi's cancellations... ok that is a bit far fetched but yes I heard a tally was recorded whether that is mentally or physically recorded I don't know.. I agree that by me cancelling often  prior to our discussion that I'd be pissed too but when you make every effort afterwards and it is still not enough to shake the tag of pulling a Wendi again it is time to move on. I don't think I could ever get the friendship back to how it was before Eleanor no matter how much I tried as there was always something to compare to... if I had attended 100 functions and missed one I'd have failed. I am pleased we were friends and recaptured a friendship from school after losing contact for a many years but the path has run its course... I can't keep justifying myself nor can I shake the feeling of inadequacy I have when with them now..

Anyway let's get back to story at hand. I decided a few days ago that I would see a Naturopath to try and get back on track. This week has really crippled me. Even if my elbow was ok I still wouldn't have been able to exercise. I had no energy due to the feeling the Migraines left me with and the lack of sleep I was getting due to them.  I went to Greenhills which is a Stocklands outside Maitland. About 40 mins+ from here. Anyway geography lesson over... I saw the lady in there who is a Naturopath.. I didn't know this prior to going in, I found out once in there.. she was the most helpful lady and so knowledgeable. I told her my symptoms and she told me the answer. ... well what I hope is the answer.. It is in a little bottle of Chinese herbs that can assist with Menstrual migraines and all other PMS symptoms... Must take 4 tablets a day for 7 days to get it in my system then down to 2.. Um what is in it???  peony, licorice, ginger I can decipher those ones then there is Cypress rotundus, ligusticum wallichii, and a few other ones with lots of letters of the alphabet.. I researched some of them on the net and we may just be on to a winner here. FINGERS CROSSED.. So now my migraines are gone I can get back on track... Monday weigh in will determine how good I have been with my food and lack of exercise.. But it is ok I am not going to beat myself up about it no matter what the weight as I have had setbacks this week and I have tried to focus on getting my food  right... Whilst I have not been 100% in my food I know that I have eaten less sugar, less carbs, less butter, and more fruit and veg... oh and no biscuits and no chips.... big things for me.. I usually share some with Lucille and have stayed strong to that... So see how it goes. If anything I am just getting it fine tuned this last week and ready to rock with both exercise and food from Monday...


I had a look on the lite n easy website too at their meals. Looks good. When Andrew leaves on 19/2 I will buy these for  dinner only. I figure that if I have to not worry about what I am eating for dinner then it will make things easier. Sometimes when on my own and after I have gotten the girls sorted for dinner all I can accomplish is toast.... If I have ready made meals then I can eat a lot more healthier... and earlier and know it is taken care of... I have however looked at the price and dinner works out to be $11 roughly a meal whereas I can buy the ones from the shops for $6ish.. though Toni after you telling me how they make these or rather what is put into them I am reluctant... Maybe I need to find out how other mums doing this who are on their own manage to eat healthy dinner meals after getting the kids sorted.. We don't normally cook separate meals but Eleanor likes her faves and just wants them sometimes... anyway it is a thought... I am looking forward to eating things Andrew doesn't like, things like stir fry, rice paper rolls and just things like that. 

So anyway I am looking forward to seeing if these tablets work by next cycle. Bloody fingers crossed that is for sure.. ooh and hopefully the anti inflammatory kick in quick too.. Just have to make sure I keep my arm from lifting things... see how we go..